My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
