Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize