question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
