I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
