Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
