Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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