He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
