the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Plan B is the new Plan A
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
