weddingsv make me drug and hornr
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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