yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
