I seem to have left my pride at pride
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
