Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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