i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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