You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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