An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
