i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
