i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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