I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
