All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
