I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's Friday. Sex?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
