i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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