I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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