I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
