Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
