I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
