sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
