Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He did a backflip because drugs
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
