he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
