oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
