Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
