Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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