I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
