Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
