My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
