Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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