I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
