Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
