I'm really into asian looking animals
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The beers last night were like the tears from god
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
