Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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