i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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