Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
