It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
