So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
