her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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