Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
