Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
