fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
