i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
one might say we're banned from that church
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
