He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Can I color on your dick again?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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