my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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