Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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