from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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