Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
