O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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