Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Text me some of your sweat
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
