I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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