There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
