My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Even my vagina gasped.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
