the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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