This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Vodka?
Forever.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Someone came in the potted fern
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
